Funny Quotes About Parenting
Funny Quotes About Parenting: Laugh your way through Parenting !!
Reading funny quotes about parenting can be very useful when searching for a way to combat the stress that is part of every parent's life. Research has shown that laughter and even just simply similing has many great benefits. When we laugh our bodies release a whole set of hormones that make us more relaxed, less depressed, build our immunity and reduces our stress levels. It has also been proven that it can even prevent heart attack. These are a few of the many side effects of laughing.
Research has even shown that fake simling or fake laughter have the same positive effects as genuine ones. Don't believe it? Try it out yourself. Next time you are angry or upset, force yourself to smile or better yet to laugh. Even better look at yourself in the mirror as you smile or laugh. Fake it. You will instanly feel better and your whole thinking and perspective of the situation will change.
Another way you can smile and laugh when you are feeling down is by reading these funny quotes about parenting.
Warning: percede with caution, some quotes are so funny they can cause extreme phyiscal side pain.
" A child is a curly dimpled lunatic" Ralph Emerson
" The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children" Duke of Windsor
" Raising children is like being pecked to death by a chicken." Unknown
" Children are a great comfort in your old age- and they help you reach it faster too." Lionel Kauffman
"The problem with children is that you have to put up with their parents." Charles De Lint
"Never raise your hands to your kids, it leaves your groin unprotected." Red Buttons
"When my kids become wild and unruly I use a nice safe playpen. When they are done I climb back out." Erma bombeck
"You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. He is more particular. The father is always a republican towards his son and his mother a democrat." Robert Frost
"Was there ever a grandparent, bushed after a day of minding noisy youngsters, who hasn't felt the Lord knew what He was doing when He gave little children to young people?" ~Joe E. Wells
"Children seldom misquote. They always say word for word what you shouldn't have said." Unknown
"What is a home without children. Quiet." Henny Youngman
" Insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids" Sam Levenson
"Humans are the only animals who have children on purpose with the exception of guppies who like to eat theirs." P.J. O Rourke
"Parenthood is a lot easier to get into then out of " Bruce Lanskiy
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you." ~Erma Bombeck
"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry". ~Bill Cosby
"Parents are not interested in justice; they are interested in quiet". ~Bill Cosby
"Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time." ~P.J. O'Rourke
"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says "keep away from children." ~Susan Savannah
"To be a successful father there is one absolute rule: when you have a kid don't look at it for the first two years." Ernest Hemingway
"Do your kids a favor-don't have any" Robert Orben
"If there were no schools to take children away from home part-time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers." Edgar Howe
"Raising children is part joy and part guerilla warfare." Ed Asner
" Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space and the mother with closet space." Evan Esar
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~Milton Berle (Good question!)
"Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother." ~Beverly Jones (hahahahah, how true)
"Mother's of teenagers know why animals eat their young" Unknown
“Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.” ~ Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” ~ Phyllis Diller
“Mothers are all slightly insane.” ~ J.D. Salinger
“The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.” ~ Author Unknown
"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” ~ Doug Larson
"To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent." Dave Barry
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them." P.J. O'Rourke
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior and I'm not talking about the kids.
Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
Parents are not quite interested in justice, they are interested in quiet.
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